Tell me about your path to librarianship:
The most literal version of this story is that although I have always been a regular user of libraries, since childhood, I never considered it as a career path at all. My understanding of things began to shift because I decided to go to library school!
I have an undergraduate degree in history and in my senior year I started working for a research company out of the University of Chicago working at the National Archives in Washington D.C. collecting data. I was looking at Civil War records and I fell in love with the work that I was doing. But if I’m honest, I fell in love with the place and the idea of being connected to work of such importance – seeing all the different kinds of research that was going on and the idea that I could be in contact with so many other people’s research in addition to my own research if I were in the archivist’s “seat.” And “Archivist” was surely something I had never heard of before.
So I started looking into what it meant to be an archivist and found out my alma mater, the University of Maryland, had the number two archives program in the country and so I thought “Well, why not?” So I applied, I got in, and started classes the next fall. I graduated with a concentration in archives and records management.
Still, figuring out what that meant for me and the kind of work I wanted to do took some time – I just wanted to work somewhere cool and be connected to researchers. My original plan had been to be a teacher, so the education piece and helping people – finding that sweet spot between being a teacher, an educator and an archivist was really my goal.
But this was in 2008, there was a recession and there were not many jobs available. I also did not have the best guidance when I was in grad school – I didn’t do a lot of networking and connection building that would have been helpful. So I had this degree in hand and not a good idea of what to do next and needed to support myself. So I became a school librarian first.
I worked in a K-12 Charter School in Washington D.C. for 5 years as a school librarian, teacher and Jack-of-all-trades, since that is what it takes to be in a charter school. I helped with the Dance Team, taught after school tutoring and Saturday School. It became my world as a 25 year old figuring out what it means to be an adult. But after five years, I thought “I have to get out of here, this is exhausting.”
I ended up at MontgomeryCollege, a community college right outside of D.C. What an experience! The Libraries were in a restructuring mode, so I got to be a part of that. The work helped me hone my skills as a research librarian, but also exposed me to all kinds of other things like organizational development. I got to work on a redesign project and strategic planning projects. I got connected with other work happening on the campus. I discovered that academic libraries were where I wanted to be. I had found the sweet spot I was looking for: I got to help with research, I got to be involved with projects that teachers and students are doing, I got to be an educator, and I could be connected to the mechanics of it all.
Five years later (the millennial timeline!) I came to UD (The University of Delaware.) My husband and I came to UD together and it has been exciting. I’ve been here since 2017. UD has a lot of opportunity.
What do you most enjoy about your current position?
My current role, Organizational Development and Learning Librarian is new to our organization. There were things that had been partly covered in other people’s work before, but now are formalized into this new role. The first thing I love about it is the excitement of creating something new. I’m always finding out where the boundaries lie and redefining what my work means. My job description is in flux. I find myself either being pulled into or sticking my nose into all kinds of things that maybe are not included in the job description, but having that flexibility is fun – I’m not a person who can do the same thing every day.
The other thing I love is that despite the libraries having a pretty traditional organizational chart of divisions and departments and units within departments and a long history of those reporting lines being how people work together, I don’t have to worry about that at all because I’m actually in an HR “bucket,” which is floating outside of all of that divisional stuff. The nature of my job is to work across the entire organization.
I get questions, requests for help, and am involved in coaching for our leadership team. It’s not my job to be an expert in the work that people do. My job is to be involved with development, learning, leadership, and staff support – helping them find their way to whatever it is they need to do and I get to do that with everybody from the AULs to individual staff people. People can come to me with HR related issues but also questions like “how can I make this process better?” That flexibility is really fun.
These are difficult times for many people. There’s a global pandemic, its devastating effect on the economy, people are acknowledging anti-Black racism and protesting – there are so many people in real turmoil – and there are real challenges in higher education as a result as well. How have these things impacted your work?
The first thing I have to say is that I feel blessed because this is not affecting my life outside of work. I’m stressed but I have a job, I have a paycheck, my work can continue and my work translates really well to a virtual environment.
I think the biggest thing is that while much of my work is still important, and people think of it as important (people need to learn, to retool, to deal with this new environment) part of my job is to think about ED&I (Equity, Diversity and Inclusion) for our organization and I spend a lot of time providing training and trying to do culture building around how we talk about equity. The seeds that were planted before the pandemic are sprouting.
People think it’s important and still want to work on it, but everything takes a back seat right now. That’s the biggest issue for how it’s affecting my work. The things I want to do related to social justice, continuing the learning and growth we’ve been experiencing, facilitating conversations or the REAL work which we have to do, which is to look at our policies and start to ask “How can we make these things anti-racist?” Everyone agrees it’s important, but who has time?
We’re opening our doors on Tuesday [September 1] to completely new circumstances and the unknown. And then there is the spectre of wondering how long it may last. How long before we need to shut down anyway? It’s wild and fatalistic. If I were to show you my calendar and show you the things I’m spending time on, I’m not spending much time at all on longer range plans. I’ve been too busy in meetings trying to figure out our service model because I’m part of the leadership team.
Priorities have shifted because we are in short term, put out the fire, high anxiety mode. And to add to that, I’m a teacher – I’m thinking about changing behaviors. If it’s about retooling or relearning how to do your job better, or if it’s about how to manage your time or if it’s about reflecting on your bias and how it shows up in the decisions that we make, or how it allows you to see or not see systemic racism… Your brain can not be all cortisol-ed up when you’re doing that work.
The physical manifestation of the stress we are all dealing with does not allow folks to reflect, to slow down, to learn, to build toward the long term vision that we all want to anchor to. Who can anchor to a long term vision when we have no idea what’s around the corner?
So it’s been hard to put those things to the wayside, but some of the things we’re sticking to – it’s on the calendar, it’s what we do. On Tuesday we had our regular, summer, professional development lightning talks and it was great. There were great presentations, there was good conversation. Are people going to take that and run with it like they may have in normal circumstances? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe they’ll come back to it in three months when things have calmed down, if they calm down, fingers crossed!
There is something about the fight or flight feelings that we are all experiencing right now that makes the work that I was hired to do, which has two parts, learning and organizational development. The learning needs to go to the wayside for now. Instead I’m spending my time on planning the training that will allow staff to do different work. We’re in the meeting, we’re making the decision, and I’m putting on my facilitator hat thinking about what questions I can ask, how can we look at this from a different angle that will help everyone in the room move past the sticky point in the conversation?
Let’s switch gears… What have you read, attended or participated in recently that has had an impact on your professional development?
Because of the times and because of where we are and needing to decide where I want to put my energy, I’ve been thinking about anti-racism. I just finished Ibram Kendi’s book “How to be an Anti-racist” for the second time. I have a list of things I want to read, but decided to start here.
It’s a lot. It’s a different approach – a different way of using the language of racism. I was able to host a discussion about the content with our staff last week, which was really good. Folks seemed really engaged. We watched a TED Talk that he did and then had a discussion. I appreciate that folks are making space to be direct. The language we have used to couch the issues and provide comfort and a soft landing for some of these ideas is going away. We realize enough is enough.
And it’s not just white people! It’s important that we recognize what Kendi does in his book (and this is what makes it difficult for some people). Dr. Kendi really believes that we all are suffering from the cancer of racism. And we have to figure out how to stop seeing each other’s sickness as something that is inherently about ourselves, and see the culprit – the culprit is the policies and racist structures – and begin to put policies and actions in place that are going to dismantle that so that we can be well.
The impact of anti-Black racism on my life is so much more than the doors that have been closed or opened to me or ways in which my first name has maybe changed how people see me. When people think about racism they think about the inter-personal, or privilege vs discrimination. It has been ingrained in me to judge others based on all kinds of racist criteria even though I push against it all the time.
While this is professional development, it’s totally personal development too. It’s giving me tools to help my colleagues as individuals and giving me tools to help us reframe the conversation for how we make sense of the work that we do, but it’s also helping me heal, and helping me prepare to raise this child and learn to be an advocate in a completely new way. So I’ve really enjoyed engaging with that content.
Reading a book is not going to teach me how to be anti-racist. Reading the book is the beginning. Then there’s the conversations that I’ll have, the self-reflection, the quietly thinking about it. While it’s just the first step, at least my email isn’t distracting me. I can focus with the analog experience of reading a book.
With so many responsibilities and so much going on, why did you choose to contribute so much time and energy to the Delaware Valley Chapter of the ACRL?
I’m new to the area (I’m from the DC area and moved here in 2017) and the first local thing that I did was the chapter event in the Fall of 2017 in Philadelphia, Fact, False or Just Flawed: Critically Examining the News in the Age of Truthiness, with keynote speaker Dr. Pamela Newkirk.
I had never gotten involved in local librarian organizations and ALA was just overwhelming, so to come to this thing and realize that not only is it for librarians, it’s academic librarians. It was focused, the content was rich, the people were wonderful. I remember I recognized someone right away. There was an immediate community I was excited to be connected with because moving away from where you grew up and having to build a whole new community is really tricky.
It was not my intention to run for future president! I thought I’d just get involved, be on the board and help out with events, but the question came my way and I loved the people that I was connecting with and the conversations that I was having and so I said “why not!”
I’m humbled by the opportunity to be in a leadership capacity. The only reason I feel like I can do this is because I know Jasmine will be there and Stefani and Jess and other people that will do this with me. This isn’t about my vision, it’s about helping this community to thrive and I’m grateful to have the opportunity to do that.
What are your goals or hopes for the upcoming year?
“To live!” (joking) But literally, I go through my ups and downs of how hopeful I can be. It’s real. I’m lucky to have a house and space and my health and my family is healthy – including the new baby I have on the way, but any of that can change, so it’s scary.
Along with health, to live, is honestly the election. I don’t want to make it political, but it’s that we can have an election and that we get through it and that this country can continue to make itself better. The local elections are so important and that’s really on my mind. Can we all continue to use the model of American democracy to support one another and do what’s needed to get us out of this hell, or is it all going to go down? That’s the deep stuff.
It’s so hard to care about anything beside this little baby right now! My life is about to completely change, but beyond that, I’m very interested in seeing how education will shift. Anyone who wants it to go back to the way it was, is crazy. To me it’s the same conversation as the one we’re having about racism: If you’re confronted with something that shakes your understanding to its core, of course you’re going to say “No, I want to pretend I never heard that! I want to pretend that I’ve never heard of Covid 19. I want to pretend that we’ve never been in this place” But we can’t do that. We have to figure out how not just how to deal with this moment, but ask how do the things we’ve learned change the way we operate going forward?
And I think there’s lots of room for growth in higher education in terms of access, affordability, flexibility, the ways that we hold one another accountable for good pedagogy and stewardship of the work we’ve been asked to do. If it takes a bunch of students taking classes in their pajamas to stand up and ask “Why am I paying so much for this?” If that’s what it takes for us to start to really think about what it is that we’re doing here, who is this supposed to be for and what is the value of it? Then it’s worth it. Because we’re creating even more inequity in continuing to do things the way we’ve done them.
I’m excited about the ways that this crisis will turn into opportunity for growth. And that’s not only about the library. Think of what our online services have become! Wow. There is silver lining and light at the end of this tunnel – if we can survive to the end of the tunnel, there’s light for how things can be improved. But we’ve got to get there. Wear your mask, wash your hands, stay at home!